The DD Dichotomy

There are many ways that couples display their love and affection for one another. There are simple acts; walking hand in hand, opening a door, a gentle touch in passing. And there is the more traditional, like sending a dozen roses to the one you love.

In a DD relationship, however, certain acts of love would not only be counterintuitive, they would be downright baffling to the public at large.

Physical acts of discipline, spankings, are an integral part of most DD relationships. But, while they certainly serve as a punishment, and as such, an unwelcome experience, they also serve a deeper and more important purpose.

In a DD relationship a spanking also serves as an act of love. It’s a concrete way to demonstrate to the submissive member of the relationship that they matter to the dominant partner. By holding them accountable, they gain a sense of security, knowing that there are boundaries to their behavior, and that someone is looking out for them.

There is even a physical benefit to the spanking. The spanking breaks down all of the emotional barriers the “sub” has built, and allows them to purge themselves of the pain, anger and frustration they may be feeling. Holding them close after the spanking, kissing them, caressing them, and telling them how much they are loved, needed and appreciated, refills their “emotional reservoirs” with positive, self affirming emotions.

In some instances, the experience can be as intimate, perhaps more, than sex.

The DD dichotomy. Up is down, left is right, black is white, and two people who love each other very much wouldn’t have it any other way.

Turning Turtle

Whenever a turtle feels threatened, they will withdraw into their shell, hiding from the world until they feel safe again. My tendency is to react in a similar way on an emotional level. Withdrawing into myself as my anxiety level rises.

My state of mind, these last several days, has been calm and peaceful. Placid like a calm sea, free of the undulations of depression or anxiety. This has made it easier for me to focus on communication, both speaking and listening. There is still plenty of room for improvement, but I'm making progress.

My next goal is to begin reintroducing more discipline into our lives (although my wife has been on her best behavior of late). I'll focus on correcting her speech, giving her "time-outs" if she needs to calm down, and if opportunities don't present themselves, then some form of maintenance discipline will be used to re-enforce our roles and responsibilities.

I've come to the conclusion that DD is like the race between the tortoise and the hare. A steady pace will win the race.