Taken In Hand

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

An Ounce Of Prevention

If you spend very much time reading about DD, eventually you will come across the topic of preventative discipline. The concept, like many in DD, seems at first glance, counterintuitive. The practice involves applying discipline, not as a consequence of misbehavior, but as a deterrent to prevent unacceptable behavior. It is applied prior to an important or stressful event as a reminder to the sub to be mindful of the rules governing their behavior.

My wife and I have been talking about the potential benefits of this type of discipline for some time. But until recently, we hadn’t given it a try.

This year we decided to host our family by having Thanksgiving at our house. While my wife is a great cook and a wonderful hostess, we don’t entertain often, and the prospect of preparing and serving Thanksgiving Dinner grew increasingly daunting as the day grew nearer. The day before Thanksgiving, my wife came to me and asked for a preventative spanking, explaining that she was feeling a lot of stress and that she thought it would help her cope with the following day.

So, that night I took her over my lap and administered a light spanking with a switch. As I spanked her, I quietly told her how I expected her to behave the following day, and what the consequences would be if she didn’t. I also told her how much I appreciated all of the work she had put into the meal, and told her how confident I was in her ability to get through the day without a hitch.

When I had finished, she seemed oddly calm, as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. The knowledge that I would be paying extra attention to her behavior, ready to step in if need be, seemed to be reassuring to her.

I noticed that I also felt a sense of peace. By laying out my expectations, and defining the consequences for misbehavior, I felt relaxed and confident, certain that I was prepared to face the day, and give her the structure she needed.

It was such a positive experience, that I plan to use it whenever we’re faced with stressful events in the future, and I urge others to consider it as well.